Not a great day. She is in a horrible mood, not really mad at just one thing, but a combination of everything. She's mad the most though, about the procedure not happening yesterday because it caused her to have the dumb tube that is hurting the back of her throat. I think everyones spirits and thoughts have changed seeing her so angry and uncomfortable. I can definitely say that today is the day that we (the daughters) have all moved a stage. We are no longer in denial we are in pain. We are tired, having trouble focusing, having a hard time with expressing ourselves, and find ourselves not really moving (like we sat in a car for a bit without even driving). My sister Martha, who if anyone of you know, is probably the one with the most clarity and is working hard to keep Laura and I in check. She has been making fun of our inabilities...which certainly helps :-) On another note...I could probably use a speech therapist if anyone knows a good one. I really need some help with processing and sentence formulation ;-)
So, how the day has progressed. We woke up early to head to the hospital to beat the doctors on their rounds and to meet with the social worker. When we got there, Marj was angry and quiet. She did not have any interest in talking to us, however, we were able to chat a little bit about the stuff no one wants to chat about. I remember just two weeks ago making fun of a women who was meeting with her mother to plan her funeral. I mean the mom wasn't even sick, but I guess it is stuff that has to be thought about and planed. Whoa...anyway, I am digressing.
The doctors came in and did a good job of really validating her anger and expressing their sympathy for the procedure not occurring. We asked many questions, I suppose the only one that I will comment on is how long she has. We went from 6 months to days to unknown in a matter of two days, but they said they really can't say now (part of Palliative Care is to no longer check vital signs). They are going with Palliative Care because they are under 6 months, but all they are doing is taking a shot in the dark. I truly believe that if Marj had her choice, she would be done now.
Anyway, after the doctors we talked with the social worker about placement. They are trying hard to place her in the Charter House to be with my grandma. There was some concern that they are unable to support her with this vent placement, but Mary has since talked to them and they are interested in trying to help. Of course as always in this silly world financial issues are also pressing, but that is a whole other conversation.
After the social worker, we worked on plasma getting all in so she could have the procedures. First, the fluid draining and then the PEG placement. It took a while to get that plasma in, but once in they came to pick her up. Throughout the morning, the only bright spot was a nurse named, Margie (go figure). She was a huge presence that did not care who was angry or who was sad she just made herself part of the family and was able to make my mom smile. So hooray for her!
We don't have any other information at this time. We left her heading down to procedures and went to eat, as we realized we hadn't eaten and it was almost noon.
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